Just in Time
Never heard of "just in time"? And no, I'm not talking about some action movie where the hero of the moment shows up at the last second and saves the day, as usual.
The idea of 'just in time' toke hold in the '90s, when basically everybody and their dog were looking for any possible way to lower costs to increase profits. And one of the cost that was under scrutiny was "stocks". What's that? When you're PRODUCING something, normally you need "STUFF" to produce it, and buy tons of stuff and then keep them in storage until they're required means to pay NOW for the stuff and then pay for the storage, for stuff that you don't need YET.
Here is the idea: instead of buying the stuff right now, you buy when is time to use it and then organize the delivery so it is available "rigth on time" to start the work. This way the dude that is going to build...wathever is going to build, instead of walking to the storeroom to grab the part, and maybe stop at the cafeteria for a coffee and a donut on the way, turn around and look at the door, that burst open and a courier runs in with the part still hot from the manufacturer. You reduce the costs and increase the efficiency.
Yeah, in a perfect universe.
Everybody knows how things works in this one.
It works that the dude turns around and look at the door, that stay closed, and after a bit he realize that everybody is looking at the door, so everybody goes to the cafeteria, but there is nothing there but the lady that is also looking at the door. And then it's panic time. When all the managers start phoning all the suppliers, but nobody picks up because everybody is busy watching the door, while somewhere, in the middle of the ocean, a ship full of containers is slowly progressing towards a port.
Yes, because the idea of being able to precisely organize the delivery is complet shit. Especially when every "thing" is the product of a process that is also trying to "precisely" organize the delivery of its own source material. When there is a delay, for any reason, in the chain, the whole thing goes belly up and every delay stacks up exponentially.
And after this precisely organized and delivered introduction, we're going to talk about $retarded, a company that produced (and probably still do)... stuff. And to produce those "stuff" they used (obviously) materials. Some raw and some less raw.
And of course, in the attempt of reduce costs, they've decided to use 'just in time' delivery. Probably scarred by reality (that the 'just in time' is mostly 'fucking late'), they've opted for a 'just 2 weeks before time', that means they placed orders with a delivery before the moment they actually needed the stuff for real. Let's ignore the fact that this make the whole 'just in time' concept completely moot (since you still need storage), but it made the manager very happy.
What they kept to try to do "just in time" was payment. Especially payment towards suppliers and from customers, that were then "as late" and "as soon" as possible, respectively. To achieve that, they've set up a specialized ERP system that was talking directly with their bank via a complex VPN solution. A Vpn that, luckily, it wasn't managed by me.
Nope. It was setup and managed by $anothercompany, that had been recently acquired by $shittyhostingprovider.
This doesn't mean that I don't get pulled into the discussion anyway, simply because, for some reason, my phone is the one that always ring (and don't tell me do not pick up, it doesn't work like that).
UL - It's UL from $retarded, we need to apply some changes on our VPN.
Me - Ah, for that stuff you need to contact $anothercompany.
UL - Good, connect me right away.
Me - No, I can't connect anything, you have to call them.
UL - What? Aren't you the reception?
Me - (cursing whoever is the fuckers that built this fucked up phone system) No, we aren't.
UL - What do you mean?
After having explained for quite some time and in some detail what exactly "NO" means, UL finally decide to go and call them himself. But the peace doesn't last long.
CL - It's CL of $IT_of_retarded. We need to apply some changes on our VPN.
Me - I've already talked with your UL, you need to call $othercompany.
CL - But aren't you the $othercompany?
Me - No we aren't.
CL - But if I look at the website this is the phone number!
Me - (cursing whoever is the fuckers that manage the website) That is probably a mistake.
CL - Ok, can you connect me with the right department?
Me - No, I can't connect anything, you have to call them directly.
After another round of "what does NO means" CL goes to look up the right phone number. And after another half-an-hour the phone rings again.
UL2 - I am UL2 of $IT_of_retarded, I need to speak IMMEDIATELY with whomever is managing our VPN.
Me - I've no idea whose that and I cannot connect to him anyway, you need to call them directly.
Put here your choiche of whining and bitching.
After a while, I am the phone with all 3 of them that seems to be trying to contact somebody from $othercompany to do those changes.
Me - Sorry, don't you have a support e-mail address for this stuff? (already knowing the answer)
UL - Yes, we sent an urgent mail this morning but we got no answer, and is ESSENTIAL that the vpn is modified immediately!
Me - Why ? (already knowing the answer)
UL2 - What do you mean 'why'? Because we're using it send and receive payiment of course!
Me - If the vpn is working it shouldn't be a problem, right?
CL - Well, it isn't working right now.
Me - Then it should've been noticed already, isn't it monitored? (already knowing the answer)
UL - The monitoring is not in the contract.
Me - (of course it isn't!) Well, open a ticket for the incident then, these should be handled faster.
UL2 - The fact is that we need to change the IP of the gateway and destination and add a new key and...
Me - Those things should be arranged before hand with the firewall maintainer.
UL2 - It's exactly what we want to do, arrange them for right now immediately this very second.
Me - Let me guess: you've already shutdown the old firewall without telling to anyone.
The silence on the other side was thunderous.
Davide
10/05/2021 11:04
