Tales from the Machine Room

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By Davide Bianchi, Updated 21/03/2013 11:35, No messages
Dato che il 30 di marzo ricomincia la stagione...

By Davide Bianchi, Updated 18/03/2013 10:54, 26 messages
..e non ci sono piu' le mezze stagioni...

By Davide Bianchi, Updated 07/03/2013 09:20, 28 messages
Maybe I'm not writing tales, but I'm commenting a lot....

By Davide Bianchi, Updated 05/03/2013 08:03, 9 messages
Or the customer-pain-in-the-ass?

Once upon a time, while I was really bored, I started writing down what's going on in my office, removing names of course, and posting it on the it.comp.os.linux.sys group. The 'tales' where well-received, so I decided to preserve them for posterity.

One thing: all the tales are real.

You wanna send your own tales? Ok, fine, but first read the instructions.


CL - Clueless Luser: tipical low-range user, he doesn't really have a clue but he think he knows better.
UL - UberLuser: project leader or middle-manager, not more clued than a CL but his paycheck is bigger.
SL - SuperLuser: manager
HR - Someone working in Human Resources

This is me, when someone came to ask for something.
what 2009-07-17 17:47:00
...you wanna WHAT?? to do WHAT??

Warning! Warning!

No, you didn't got the wrong site, no it's working fine, YES, THE FUCKING SCRIPT IS ALSO WORKING! is just that there are no new stories since the end of 2012, for several reasons, one of which is that my current company knows I have a web site and are checking it every now and then, so unless you decide to pay me lots of money, I'm not going to publish for a while. So stop mailing, messaging, twetting me or similar ok?

And no, I'm not going to implemente some private/certificate or password controlled bullshit, which part of "this site is maintained during my free time" wasn't clear?

Thanks for reading


Before 1/1/2003
Tales from 2003
Tales from 2004
Tales from 2005
Tales from 2006
Tales from 2007
Tales from 2008
Tales from 2009
Tales from 2010
Tales from 2011

Tales from 2012

You can get a .zip file with the whole shebang in the Archive.

RSS Feed for all the tales.

Not everything in here have been translated.

Am I ever wrong? The Fuck-up Fairy

The SysAdmin's Library
A simple martketing-bofh vocabulary

SysAdmin's song #1 (The Other Side)
SysAdmin's song #2 (Teorema)
SysAdmin's song #3 (The Lusers Are Too Strong)
SysAdmin's song #4 (Everybody Wants To Run Exchange)

Contributed by my readers:

Dieci Piccoli Pinguini (di Cris Carampa)
La Ballata del Programmatore e Alla Fiera di Enrico Colombini Note: the link takes you to Colombini's web site and there is also a sung version: http://www.derelitti.com/ballata_del_programmatore.
Azzurro (di Claudio Brazzale)
Windows To The Ground (di Marco Bonetti)
"Dale Harding" send the link to the Bofh's ballade note: the link takes you to Bitchx's site.

Ten things I hate

Are you a (l)user?
Are you a (potential) SysAdmin?
Are you a (l)user (version #2)?
Are you a good developer?
Are you a good IT manager?

Once I began writing, other peoples decided to send me theirs tales, so I decided to open a "guest" side. Here you'll find their tales, with the exception of Gabriele Niccolini who sent me so many that I've put on a special section for. Note that Gabriele stopped writing several years ago, so things are no longer updated.

Other tales, divided by author.

This is a short list of the latest visitors' tales.

WARNING! the tales belows are the tales that have been modified in any way in the past days, so if someone send a note that a link is broken in an old tale, and I fix it, it will automagically appear here even if it is 3 year old. Got it? So don't send me mail or comment about the fact that 'this tale is 3 year old'...

By Matteo Jurman, Updated 18/09/2012 11:58, 8 messages
Non c'e' mai un "End"...

By BabboMatteo, Updated 25/04/2012 10:37, 7 messages
Poche principesse da quelle parti eh?

By BabboMatteo, Updated 27/03/2012 13:27, 9 messages
Sempre la stessa storia

By R.P., Updated 18/02/2011 13:25, 8 messages
E fu cosi' che...

Warning: if you send me the link to your "blog" or your site, try to keep it up and running, if I don't see any changes for a while, first I put it as "dead" and then I get rid of the link.

Warning #2: the simple fact that you send me the link doesn't mean that I'm going to add it here, especially if I look at your site and see a lot of swearing and nothing else.

"Folies" wrote: Obviously, I consider you responsible and solely guilty for the existence of my b-log. What the... you'll find it on http://folies.splinder.com.

Dario has collected some "sniversity" related tales on his site that (he says) is copied from mine (so it's always my fault): http://liuct.altervista.org/.

Barbara Pennacchi keeps a technical blog: http://blog.cyberdeaf.org/

Roberta Gallini write about various things, some also technical: http://www.blobi.it

Alessandro Porcu is telling us about his misadventures in a big italians hospital (no, he is not a patient there... not yet): http://capnemo.homelinux.org/blog/.

Ansaloni Mauro: http://www.progettoatena.it/index2.html

MK66: http://lestoriedimk66.blogspot.com/

BitMover sent his own blog address: http://ioegliutonti.blogspot.com/ where he is collecting his own tales.

This site is made by me with blood, sweat and gunpowder, if you want to republish or redistribute any part of it, please drop me (or the author of the article if is not me) a mail.

This site was composed with VIM, now is composed with VIM and the (in)famous CMS FdT.

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